Jacqueline Review: The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess

 And thus begins my next horrendously shameless hype building post: A Zelda Review. If you guys can’t tell, I’m ridiculously excited for Breath of the Wild, and as such I’m poring over some of my favorite, and least favorite, titles in the franchise. As such, it is only natural I discuss Twilight Princess. I’m not going to shoot the shit anymore. Now, I’ll shove my opinion down your throat for the next few minutes.

  • Gameplay: Twilight Princess had, in my opinion, the best core gameplay of every single 3D Zelda we have seen period. The multiple sword techniques was fantastic, and using the pointer controls on the Wii for the bow was surprisingly accurate and fun to use! Initially, I had a problem with being forced to play as the wolf for a very lengthy opening segment, and I still do have that problem, but what helps to alleviate that shit is the fact that the wolf is actually fairly well handled and fun. Is it still super fucking annoying when random segments make you hunt down bugs so you can swing your fucking sword again? Absolutely, but at least it doesn’t control terribly. That being said, I have mixed feelings about the dungeons and boss fights. Some are really interesting and unique, like Stallord, but in that very same dungeon, you get a ridiculously useless and gimmicky item, the Spinner. And then the Goron dungeon, being forced to trek PAINFULLY slowly along magnetic surfaces? Further still, the wolf mini game to learn new techniques is just awful. Its painfully hard to get the sequence right to make a wolf howl music, and it was clearly tacked on, like the control of swing the wii mote to attack. The gameplay is good, but unnecessarily bogged down by little things that annoy me. 7/10
  • Story/Characters: In truth, this is without a doubt the best part of this game. I adore Twilight Princess’ story. Everything from Midna being kicked off her throne, Zant believing he found a God in Ganon and using his dark magic, having to explore all around the world to find these ancient, dark shards of a power not unlike a dark Triforce, it was FUCKING AWESOME. Link has motivation that isn’t just “Omg save Zelda,” its “HOLY SHIT, MY HOME GOT RANSACKED I’M FINNA BUST SOME ASS.” Link gets the most characterization in this game than any previous Zelda title, and Midna is a fantastic heroine. At all times, it’s clear her shadow power is greater than Link at the beginning, yet Zant is still a capable villain having stolen Ganon’s power. Midna has AMAZING moments where she kicks ass and does damage, the side characters, especially Telma, are badass. She sees male guards piss themselves at the thought of fighting bokoblins and moblins, and she LAUGHS. She’s more than capable, and I love her. Zelda, through most of the game is hardly a character. She just… sort of exists, and then Ganon controls her body for a bossfight. Lame, but the rest of the characters and story are well made and well told. I have a few minor issues, like Zelda doing batshit nothing and falling into the obvious trope of kidnapped by Ganon, but all in all I give the story a 9/10.
  • Visual/Audio Art: I adored the musical scores of Twilight princess, as I do with every Zelda game, but there wasn’t any really outstanding soundtrack that wowed me the same way that Skyward Sword, or Ocarina did. It, kind of like Wind Waker, felt good, but not amazing. The visual art was good, though the awkward sort of twilight sheen and filter on the Wii version was annoying. That being said, on the Wii U, the game’s art SHINES. It looks AMAZING in HD, and the true glory of the art team is on full blast. The level of detail was surprisingly exquisite in the details of characters, Link’s equipment, and even the way that characters moved. To be frank, after playing the game on the Wii U, I was shocked that the game ever released on the Wii or Gamecube to begin with. Twilight Princess’ art deserves to be played in HD, and I swear to anyone looking to pick up the game, they won’t be disappointed. I’ll grade this on the HD art, which gets an 8/10.
  • Online/DLC/Amiibo: Twilight Princess’ DLC technically came on an amiibo, which was fifteen dollars. The Amiibo gave access to the Cave of Ordeals, which was a massive enemy-based dungeon crawl. There are shitloads of rooms with a huge amount of varied enemies you have to fight through, and occasional rooms to heal up and get ready for the next wave. At the end of the fifty floors, you get the Great Fairy’s tears, which lets you collect more tears from fairy springs for healing. All in all, while the Cave of Ordeals is a great amount of fun, the reward for doing it is ultimately kind of pathetic, and it is absolutely overpriced at fifteen dollars. DLC/Amiibo gets a 6/10. Fun, but ridiculously overpriced.

    Twilight Princess gets a final score of: 7.5/10. It is a great game, one I honestly love and one of the best 3D Zelda games that has ever been made. Don’t worry everybody, next week I’ll be reviewing a… less than Stellar Zelda game, in my opinion. Get ready for it!

    This has been Jaqueline, see you later!

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