Hey there Nasties! It’s Mod Loser, Jackie, whatever you want to call me. And much to nobody’s surprise, I’m still ranting about the Dark Souls franchise! There are characters I absolutely adore from all three games, but today I’m going to try and narrow it down to my Top 5 Favorites. Shall we get started?
I love Gwyndolin because she’s great trans representation in the culture that have commonly used gender neutral terms. What puts Gwyndolin low on this list for me personally is the way the community interacts around her. The constant sexualization of the “Trap” idea in regards to trans women or non-binary and/or androgynous people is absolutely disgusting. And hearing characters in the localized version of the game call Gwyndolin “he” is depressing. All in all, a character that should make me feel utter glee ends up instead making me feel dysphoric because of bad localization and an even worse community.
Oh, Patches, you sick undead. I love Patches not because he’s a great character or because he is particularly kind, but he’s one of From Software’s memes. Patches shows up in almost every game they make, and every time he’s a complete scoundrel that tricks you into nearly dying on multiple occasions. But in Dark Souls 3, the storyline behind Patches, Greirat, and Lapp was tear jerking, truth be told. I adore Patches, and being able to summon him for a boss as well as giving him multiple, humanizing quest lines in Souls 3 cemented him as one of my favorites.
#3: Andre of Astora
The blacksmith that survived through the ages and will always keep coming back to help you save the world, or end it. I love Andre purely from a nostalgic point of view, which I’m willing to admit. The idea that Andre has survived so many linkings of the fire is amazing; not to mention him guarding the crest of Artorias in Dark Souls 1 always made me feel like he was innately sympathetic and caring. As a character he doesn’t have much depth, but seeing Andre always brings a smile to my face and makes me feel safe.
#2: Artorias the Abyss Walker
We’ve only interacted with Artorias once (and that was in a boss-fight where he had absolutely no dialogue). The stories of Artorias are told all through Dark Souls 1, and the Abyss Watchers in Souls 3 dedicated their undead lives to hunting down creatures of the abyss and keeping them at bay in honor of Arty’s sacrifice. The lore surrounding Gwyn’s most powerful knight was enough for him to make this list, but he also has an amazing boss-fight and some amazing gear to use. Artorias was a poetic, tragic character and finally giving him an honorable death in Souls 1’s DLC felt like closure for me as a player.
Pretend you didn’t see this coming, but I love Solaire for a wide variety of reasons. Primarily, the fact that Solaire is a constant force of positivity throughout the entire game, acting like a beacon of light through your dark journey. My metaphor is pretty literal given the sunbro covenant, but Solaire also is the only NPC that consistently shows up to help you through otherwise bullshit battles like Ornstein and Smough.
Further still, during Anor Londo, Solaire suggests that the two of you have feelings for each other, and if you play a male character this means that Solaire is interested in a gay relationship. This means that, by nature, Solaire is either Bisexual, Pansexual, or Demisexual as he says the same dialogue to female characters. It may have been a bit of a lazy oversight originally, but instead it came out as making the most loved, positive character in dark souls a canon member of the LGBTQA+ Community.
These are my favorite characters in the souls franchise, but I’d love to hear yours! Tell us in the comments below what characters you loved from Dark Souls!
This is Mod Loser, signing off.
Hey guys! Mod Syrup back with yet another Mobile Monday! Today I’m talking about Nintendo’s app, Super Mario Run that is for iOS and Android devices. Now when I first saw advertisements for this game, I had my App Store alert me for when the game came out. You guys should know by now I ADORE Nintendo, and to have Super Mario on my phone felt like a dream.
So Super Mario Run comes out, it’s free, I download it ASAP! It loads, I see the beautiful graphics, and the standard Bowser kidnapping Princess Peach (for some cake? whatever) and I’m totally into it and ready to save her.
I start the tutorial level where it shows you how to play the game. You have 3 major functions: Running, which is automatic, Vaulting, which is automatic when you come to an enemy or small obstacle, and Jumping, which you can do by tapping on the screen.
Later on, you learn how to Double Jump, by holding the screen after tapping, that you have lives by the Bubble Method, similar to Yoshi’s Island with Baby Mario and when you play Co-Opt on Super Mario 3D World (may be more but those are what came to me off the bat), and to Wall Jump, which is the same for any game where you just Jump as you hit the wall. You also have a chance to earn 5 Pink Coins in each level which seems to be the aspect of the 3 Star System in previous games.
After the first World, you return to the Mushroom Kingdom for Toad to tell you that Princess Peach has been kidnapped and the castle has been destroyed. Because the castle was destroyed, the other Toads fled and you have to gather them up. How do you gather them up you ask?
Next, the game takes you to the function called Toad Rally. It’s ‘judged’ by Toadette. The first tutorial run, you go against Nintendo’s account.
You play it like the regular game, but the more cool jumps, vaults, etcetera you do, get you more points and more Toads cheering for you. If you win, those number of Toads go back with you to the castle. You continue using tickets to compete against other players.
Naturally, you go on and continue playing the Worlds. You downloaded this game to save Princess Peach, not race other players! You knock out World 1-2 and 1-3 only to get to the castle at World 1-4 and then you’re told you have to pay to continue. Furious, I deleted the game.
To write this article, I redownloaded it to get screenshots for you guys. I don’t remember this part previously, but now it seemed that you had 2 other ways to continue: Gather 100 Toads from the Toad Rally or Gather 15 Pink Coins from the previous levels (or you can also get them in Toad Rally). I thought sweet, they came up with another mechanic to get people to play!
So, being pretty good at Toad Rally, I collected my 100 Toads. I unlocked World 1-4, defeated the super easy castle, only for Bowser to take Princess Peach elsewhere (of course, it’s a Mario game).
Expecting I’d just have to do similarly with collecting Toads, I was ready to get my next number to unlock the other worlds. Unfortunately, the rest of the game was still blocked behind a paywall.
Given now, on the iOS version, there is a preview image that tells you that you have to pay to unlock the other worlds, I REALLY wish Nintendo wouldn’t have advertised this as a free game. They should’ve just had you pay for it or at least say it was a demo.
Super Mario Run is a really good game, but I’m not going to give Nintendo money for being sneaky like that. I’ll stick to my console games myself. That being said, I haven’t unlocked the other worlds so I can’t tell you if it’s worth it. But due to how short it is, I’d say save your money for a console Super Mario.
– Mod Syrup